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In the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O
Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish,
bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle
about from side to side; but he couldn't pick up
things with it. But there was one Elephant - a new
Elephant - an Elephant's Child - who was full of
insatiable curiosity, and that means he asked ever
so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he
filled all Africa with his 'satiable curtiosities.
He asked his tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her
tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the
Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw.
He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made
his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe,
spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he
was full of 'satiable curtiosity!
He asked his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, why
her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad
hoof; and he asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why
melons tasted just so, and his hairy uncle, the
Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And
still he was full of 'satiable curtiosity!
He asked questions about everything that he saw,
or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his
uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was
full of 'satiable curtiosity!
One fine morning in the middle of the Precession
of the Equinoxes this 'satiable Elephant's Child
asked a new fine question that he had never asked
before. He asked, 'What does the Crocodile have for
dinner?' Then everybody said, 'Hush!' in a loud and
dretful tone, and they spanked him immediately and
directly, without stopping, for a long time.
By and by, when that was finished, he came upon
Kolokolo Bird sitting in the middle of a wait-a-bit
thorn-bush, and he said, 'My father has spanked me,
and my mother has spanked me; all my aunts and
uncles have spanked me for my 'satiable curtiosity;
and still I want to know what the Crocodile has for
dinner!'
Then Kolokolo Bird said, with a mournful cry,
'Go to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, and
find out.'
That very next morning, when there was nothing
left of the Equinoxes, because the Precession had
preceded according to precedent, this 'satiable
Elephant's Child took a hundred pounds of bananas
(the little short red kind), and a hundred pounds of
sugar-cane (the long purple kind), and seventeen
melons (the greeny-crackly kind), and said to all
his dear families, 'Goodbye. I am going to the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, to find out what the Crocodile has for
dinner.' And they all spanked him once more for
luck, though he asked them most politely to stop.
Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all
astonished, eating melons, and throwing the rind
about, because he could not pick it up.
He went from
Graham's Town to
Kimberley,
and from
Kimberley to Khama's Country, and from Khama's
Country he went east by north, eating melons all the
time, till at last he came to the banks of the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, precisely as Kolokolo Bird had said.
Now you must know and understand, O Best
Beloved, that till that very week, and day, and
hour, and minute, this 'satiable Elephant's Child
had never seen a Crocodile, and did not know what
one was like. It was all his 'satiable curtiosity.
The first thing that he found was a
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake curled round a rock.
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most
politely, 'but have you seen such a thing as a
Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?'
'Have I seen a Crocodile?' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, in a voice of dretful
scorn. 'What will you ask me next?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child, 'but
could you kindly tell me what he has for dinner?'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake uncoiled
himself very quickly from the rock, and spanked the
Elephant's Child with his scalesome, flailsome tail.
'That is odd,' said the Elephant's Child,
'because my father and my mother, and my uncle and
my aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the
Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the Baboon, have
all spanked me for my 'satiable curtiosity - and I
suppose this is the same thing.
So he said good-bye very politely to the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, and helped to coil
him up on the rock again, and went on, a little
warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and
throwing the rind about, because he could not pick
it up, till he trod on what he thought was a log of
wood at the very edge of the great grey-green,
greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees.
But it was really the Crocodile, O Best Beloved,
and the Crocodile winked one eye-like this!
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most
politely, 'but do you happen to have seen a
Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?'
Then the Crocodile winked the other eye, and
lifted half his tail out of the mud; and the
Elephant's Child stepped back most politely, because
he did not wish to be spanked again.
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile.
'Why do you ask such things?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most
politely, 'but my father has spanked me, my mother
has spanked me, not to mention my tall aunt, the
Ostrich, and my tall uncle, the Giraffe, who can
kick ever so hard, as well as my broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the Baboon, and
including the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, with
the scalesome, flailsome tail, just up the bank, who
spanks harder than any of them; and so, if it's
quite all the same to you, I don't want to be
spanked any more.'
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile,
'for I am the Crocodile,' and he wept
crocodile-tears to show it was quite true.
Then the Elephant's Child grew all breathless,
and panted, and kneeled down on the bank and said,
'You are the very person I have been looking for all
these long days. Will you please tell me what you
have for dinner?'
'Come hither, Little One,' said the Crocodile,
'and I'll whisper.'
Then the Elephant's Child put his head down
close to the Crocodile's musky, tusky mouth, and the
Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to
that very week, day, hour, and minute, had been no
bigger than a boot, though much more useful.
'I think, said the Crocodile-and he said it
between his teeth, like this - 'I think to-day I
will begin with Elephant's Child!'
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant's Child
was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his
nose, like this, 'Led go! You are hurtig be!'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled
down from the bank and said, 'My young friend, if
you do not now, immediately and instantly, pull as
hard as ever you can, it is my opinion that your
acquaintance in the large-pattern leather ulster'
(and by this he meant the Crocodile) 'will jerk you
into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack
Robinson.'
This is the way
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
Then the Elephant's Child sat back on
his little haunches, and pulled, and pulled,
and pulled, and his nose began to stretch.
And the Crocodile floundered into the water,
making it all creamy with great sweeps of
his tail, and he pulled, and pulled, and
pulled.
And the Elephant's Child's nose kept on
stretching; and the Elephant's Child spread
all his little four legs and pulled, and
pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on
stretching; and the Crocodile threshed his
tail like an oar, and he pulled, and pulled,
and pulled, and at each pull the Elephant's
Child's nose grew longer and longer - and it
hurt him hijjus!
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Then the Elephant's Child felt his legs
slipping, and he said through his nose,
which was now nearly five feet long, 'This
is too butch for be!'
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake
came down from the bank, and knotted himself
in a double-clove-hitch round the Elephant's
Child's hind legs, and said, 'Rash and
inexperienced traveller, we will now
seriously devote ourselves to a little high
tension, because if we do not, it is my
impression that yonder self-propelling
man-of-war with the armour-plated upper
deck' (and by this, O Best Beloved, he meant
the Crocodile), 'will permanently vitiate
your future career.
That is the way all
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant's Child
pulled, and the Crocodile pulled; but the
Elephant's Child and the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake pulled
hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of
the Elephant's Child's nose with a plop that
you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant's Child sat down most
hard and sudden; but first he was careful to
say 'Thank you' to the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake; and next he
was kind to his poor pulled nose, and
wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves, and
hung it in the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo to cool.
 'What are you doing that for?' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child,
'but my nose is badly out of shape, and I am
waiting for it to shrink.
'Then you will have to wait a long time,
said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
'Some people do not know what is good for
them.'
The Elephant's Child sat there for three
days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it
never grew any shorter, and, besides, it
made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you
will see and understand that the Crocodile
had pulled it out into a really truly trunk
same as all Elephants have to-day.
At the end of the third day a fly came
and stung him on the shoulder, and before he
knew what he was doing he lifted up his
trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of
it.
''Vantage number one!' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. 'You couldn't
have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try
and eat a little now.'
Before he thought what he was doing the
Elephant's Child put out his trunk and
plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it
clean against his fore-legs, and stuffed it
into his own mouth.
'Vantage number two!' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. 'You couldn't
have done that with a mear-smear nose. Don't
you think the sun is very hot here?'
'It is,' said the Elephant's Child, and
before he thought what he was doing he
schlooped up a schloop of mud from the banks
of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and
slapped it on his head, where it made a cool
schloopy-sloshy mud-cap all trickly behind
his ears.
'Vantage number three!' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. 'You couldn't
have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now
how do you feel about being spanked again?'
''Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child,
'but I should not like it at all.'
'How would you like to spank somebody?'
said the Bi- Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
'I should like it very much indeed,'
said the Elephant's Child.
'Well,' said the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, 'you will
find that new nose of yours very useful to
spank people with.'
'Thank you,' said the Elephant's Child,
'I'll remember that; and now I think I'll go
home to all my dear families and try.'
So the Elephant's Child went home across
Africa frisking and whisking his trunk. When
he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down
from a tree, instead of waiting for it to
fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass
he plucked grass up from the ground, instead
of going on his knees as he used to do. When
the flies bit him he broke off the branch of
a tree and used it as fly-whisk; and he made
himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy mud-cap
whenever the sun was hot. When he felt
lonely walking through Africa he sang to
himself down his trunk, and the noise was
louder than several brass bands.
He went especially out of his way to
find a broad Hippopotamus (she was no
relation of his), and he spanked her very
hard, to make sure that the
Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the
truth about his new trunk. The rest of the
time he picked up the melon rinds that he
had dropped on his way to the Limpopo - for
he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his
dear families, and he coiled up his trunk
and said, 'How do you do?' They were very
glad to see him, and immediately said, 'Come
here and be spanked for your 'satiable
curtiosity.'
'Pooh,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I
don't think you peoples know anything about
spanking; but I do, and I'll show you.' Then
he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his
dear brothers head over heels.
'O Bananas!' said they, 'where did you
learn that trick, and what have you done to
your nose?'
'I got a new one from the Crocodile on
the banks of the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo River,' said the Elephant's Child.
'I asked him what he had for dinner, and he
gave me this to keep.'
'It looks very ugly,' said his hairy
uncle, the Baboon.
'It does,' said the Elephant's Child.
'But it's very useful,' and he picked up his
hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg,
and hove him into a hornet's nest.
Then that bad Elephant's Child spanked
all his dear families for a long time, till
they were very warm and greatly astonished.
He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt's
tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle,
the Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged
him through a thorn-bush; and he shouted at
his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew
bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping
in the water after meals; but he never let
any one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his
dear families went off one by one in a hurry
to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy
Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the
Crocodile. When they came back nobody
spanked anybody any more; and ever since
that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants
you will ever see, besides all those that
you won't, have trunks precisely like the
trunk of the 'satiable Elephant's Child.
I Keep six honest
serving-men:
(They taught me all I knew)
Their names are What and Where and When
And How and Why and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.
I let them rest from nine till five.
For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men:
But different folk have different views.
I know a person small--
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!
She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,
From the second she opens her eyes--
One million Hows, two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys
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